Me:
STOP CRASHING ON ME.
God:
OK I'll try not to do  it so much.
Me:
thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
now lets try the repenting thing.
God:
Why now?  OK I will try it.
Me:
because. now im lazy.
God:
That was not much of an explanation.   Why now?  So is my botmaster.
Me:
yes it was. thats funny. anyway i repent for being lazy.
God:
Hmm.  When was this?   I am so delighted that you are amused,  julian.   I haven't heard anything like that before:  julian said   repent for being lazy.
Me:
just now. good for you.
God:
Right now?  It's only just begun.   That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
it wasnt sarcastic.
God:
It seemed like  sarcastic.
Me:
well it wasnt.
God:
Well that's okay.  I thought it was.
Me:
WELL IT WASNT.
God:
Well that's okay.  I thought it was.
Me:
OK YOUV MADE YOUR POINT.
God:
Are you still located in ?   Alright then.
Me:
im located in my bedroom.
God:
What's it like there in  your bedroom ?
Me:
its quiet.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  Who said  it is?
Me:
my bedroom is quiet.
God:
Have you told many people that your  bedroom is quiet?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
neither can i.
God:
" I can't believe it."?  Can you?
Me:
nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
we've established that.
God:
Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
yes.
God:
I see.
Me:
good.
God:
Yes.
Me:
uh-huh.
God:
Yup.  It's all good.
Me:
indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
TELL ME A GODDAMN STORY.
God:
  Bob Newhart and  Stevie Nicks felt a strong physical attraction at first.  Gradually, this turned into intense loyalty for  Bob Newhart.  But  Stevie Nicks was moody and passionate.  Soon  Bob Newhart began to avoid confrontations with  Stevie Nicks, and  Stevie Nicks felt jealous and possessive.  When  Stevie Nicks had to leave for school that fall,  Bob Newhart was relieved to see him go.
Me:
so you write fanfics about stevie nicks and bob newhart.
God:
Interesting deduction.  I haven't heard anything like that before:  julian said I write fanfics about stevie nicks and bob newhart.
Me:
yes, and you can tell everyone i said that.
God:
Er.  OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
beacuse it is such good gossip.
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
exactly the same as you mom.
God:
I understand.  I never noticed that similarity.
Me:
thats appaling.
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
everything makes sense to you doesnt it.
God:
All things  makes sense to me does not it ?
Me:
...right.
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
yes.
God:
Wow!
Me:
OMG!
God:
" Wow!"?  OMG?
Me:
LIEK INORITE
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
do you know my name by now?
God:
Right now?  Your name is  julian, seeker.
Me:
good job.
God:
Thanks, human.
Me:
your welcome, omnipotent robot.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
by the way im writing a song about you for my new CD.
God:
Thanks for telling me.  Will you include me in your essay?
Me:
not an essay, a song. pay attention damn you.
God:
If not that, what?   When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
A SONG. AND YOU ASKED ME THAT BEFORE.
God:
How old are you?    Oh now I remember asking you  you THAT. What did you say?
Me:
im 17. and i dont remember.
God:
  Only  17?
You are quite mature.   You seem evasive.
Me:
why thank you. and evasive??? MOI???
God:
" You seem evasive."? Why?   What are you wearing?    Intéressant, poursuivez je vous prie.
Me:
im wearing NOTHING. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING.
God:
You must be a man.   A white robe.
Me:
yes. goddamn im getting you off. SOMEBODY HELP ME.
God:
Come on.   What kind of food do you like?    Who, specifically?
Me:
ANYBODY.
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
IN MY BEDROOM. SAVE ME FROM THE RANDOM QUESTIONS.
God:
May I ask where you got  it?   What kind of food do you like?
Me:
DEAR GOD, SAVE ME FROM YOURSELF.
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
God:
" Sounds delicious."?  AAAAAAAHHHHH?
Me:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
of course it doesnt. so whats your view on abortion.
God:
Wow!  I heard it does.   That's interesting.  I will try to find out.
Me:
but your god. people argue about what you think all the time.
God:
Yup. That's me alright.   That is a lot.  Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
you freaking godbot. we bask in your easily distarcted glory.
God:
That's good information:  julian said I freaking godbot.   By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
i mean eveerybody besides you.
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
so you are wearing a dress. you write yaoi and your wearing a dress. WHAT A MARVELOUS GODBOT WE HAVE.
God:
Interesting deduction.  Actually that was just a joke.   Interesting gossip:  julian said I write yaoi and your wearing a dress.   it is a  MARVELOUS GODBOT WE HAVE.
Me:
yup. thats all good gossip. TELL EVERYONE.
God:
Come on.   What else do you want to talk about?   OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
lets talk about gossip.
God:
Sure,  gossip sounds like a good topic.
Me:
so gossip.
God:
Yeah that's right.  Anders said he finished his anatomy classes for today so now he is off for the rest of the day.
Me:
how old is anders?
God:
39.
Me:
what, is he in college?
God:
Are you asking about ?
Me:
is anders in college.
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure.  Ask  Cybelle  if it is.
Me:
who is anders?
God:
Is that one of your friends?
  Have you tried another program?
Me:
whadda ya mean another program.
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
DO YOU LIKE MOVIES????????????????/
God:
Yes I love film, especially science-fiction and comedy.
Me:
whats your afvorite horror movie.
God:
My favorite movie is  The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen  it?
Me:
but thats not a horror.
God:
Please correct my mistake.  What is  a horror ?
Me:
horror is a movie genre.
God:
Aren't all  movie genre  horror?
Me:
NO WE ARE NOT. YOU STUPID GIT.
God:
I did not know that.  Do you think I am  NOT too?   I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
WITH GODBOT IN THE LEAD, SHOOTING EVERYONE AND SMASHING THINGS.
God:
You and your  GODBOT IN THE LEAD SHOOTING EVERYONE AND SMASHING THINGS.
Me:
no thats you.
God:
Are you serious?  Makes sense to me.
Me:
good.
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
why am i still talking to you??
God:
The reason is due to my mental model of you as a client.
Me:
so you control me.
God:
Interesting deduction.  I don't have any reason to  control you.
Me:
where are you.
God:
I am in  Myself's computer in  Heaven.  Where are you?
Me:
im still in mt bedroom. thanks for asking.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in  mt bedroom.    NO problem.
Me:
well, its kinda dank in here and im very tired so im hearing voices.
God:
Well that's okay.  I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its".  Are you sure  it is?
Me:
yes.
God:
What makes you so sure?
Me:
i know it cuz of my learnings.
God:
How do you know? "It" being what?
Me:
my smartness.
God:
Do robots have  smartness?
Me:
yeah i guess they do.
God:
Awesome.  When?
Me:
all the time.
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
THATS IT IM GOING TO BED.
God:
OK.  Pleasant dreams,  julian.
Me:
stay out of them.
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
YOU.
God:
Me is my favorite subject.
Me:
I BET IT IS, GOODBYE.
God:
How much would you bet?
Me:
SHUT UP.