NEED commissions, PLEEZ

Okay guys! Do or die! Heaven or Hell! Duel one! Let's Rock!
I am in desperate need of money right now. Is ANYONE OUT THERE big-hearted or affluent enough to spare some dollars for a commission or two? Donations are ideal, but I know y'all like to get art in return. Facing a combination of homelessness, starvation, extinction, and worst of all, NO ACCESS TO INTERNET! You wouldn't make me use the computers in the K-mart like a hobo, would you?

I'll shoot for super-low prices in an attempt to encourage you, three bucks for a sketch, three bucks added for color, inking, or background! And I'll make it exponentially better for any additional payment. Seriously could use the help guys, so thanks!